


Golden Dance

by meiqis



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, They're a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 04:23:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16032905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiqis/pseuds/meiqis
Summary: In which Zhengting is in love with Yanjun for too long and never had a chance because of a certain boyfriend named Wang Ziyi. Yet he finds himself getting closer to Ziyi thanks to dance and his feelings becoming a mess that further escalates upon getting drunk.





	Golden Dance

**Author's Note:**

> Based on 

For just a moment, he wanted to believe that this was right, that this was his right, to enjoy the sight that was right in front of him, to take in all he could, the sun shining through the window illuminating the blue hues that came from hair dyed black once too often because the cheap hair dye from the store had washed out too fast, applied and applied over and over again, too much obstinacy to just get it done at the hairdresser again because “it’s just black, nothing can go wrong with that,” and now it was like the break of nightfall and darkness, the cool shades evident as they framed the white highlights created by light.  
He just wanted to admire how the natural light was reflected on an even tan, shifting from tender sand to warm bronze and shining gold, skin that was so beautiful and even and so fit for a man that beautiful, causing his fingers to itch with a desire to trace the prominent jawline, run his thumb over sharp indents, he wanted to test whether those lips felt as plush and soft as they looked, wanted to brush back the messy fringe, he wanted to curve his finger around a sun warmed neck and splay his palms out against a firm chest, take his sweet moments to explore all about this man who was too perfect to be real, way out of his reach.  
“Let’s just go with your choice,” he answered, as if he hadn’t just spent his time admiring Yanjun’s beauty rather than listening to his words because that was just how it went, he was paired with his hopeless crush, went along with whatever decisions were made and then he had to go on his own path for as long as their paths didn’t cross in the classroom the next day all over again.  
The sigh daring to escape his lips was swallowed down again, merely because his situation was hopeless, he was hopeless, nothing but a fool in love, and he just wanted to give in to the mirage of this being a date as he cuddled further into the couch of their usual coffee shop, the hottest insider tip amongst their campus because it was more like a living room than a café, a bit run down and with the owner encouraging them all to take off their shoes and make themselves comfortable, with big windows adorned with loose and light curtains that swayed in the breeze, right behind Yanjun, settled on the armrest because sitting on the cushions was too normal, claiming it was helping to focus but maybe he was just looking for distance, and even with hands roughly slamming down on the sheer fabric to keep it from brushing against shoulders, Zhengting couldn’t help but think that the unknowing holder of his heart was the most beautiful creature to ever grace earth.  
“If we choose this song, it will be difficult for you to match your tone to it,” the older pointed out with a light scowl on his face that only seemed adorable to the dancer, finding it cute how he was cared for and worried about, even if it was just for the sound of their song, just a harmless matter that might, at worst, have them lose points on their score but it was still enough to make his heart flutter and butterflies fly around in the pit of his stomach.  
“That’s what I got you for, Mister,” he said with light mockery to his tone, lips parted to talk more, add some other words, but they were interrupted when a new person stepped into the frame, arms wrapping around Yanjun and lips pressing against golden and chiseled cheekbone, a short greeting that then led to a proper peck Zhengting more heard than saw, too busy slipping into his shoes again and grabbing his jacket and bag as he got up.  
At times like these he really thought he deserved a Grammy or an Oscar for his spectacular acting abilities, whenever he didn’t look like a dazed idiot because he had been too busy admiring Yanjun, whenever he held back the giggle threatening to escape his throat because he was flustered by whatever action, whenever he just gave a little smile, an excuse about needing to go to practice so he better leave them to their date.  
Because, eventually, as it always happened with an illusion, a Fata Morgana - they disappeared, they dissolved and showed reality, like a cracked mirror it came all crumbling down and made him realize all over again that he might enjoy his daydream for a moment or two but no matter how much he wished to go on a real and proper date with Yanjun, ever since they had met in their first year of university - he, just on time despite of a movie filming overseas, Yanjun, one year late, because apparently visa was a struggle - as they attended the same classes, he had thought it must be fate, finding someone to click so well with, someone who was so beautiful and right in front of him, with tacky humor that still had him grinning as he shook his head in dismissal, bad pick-up lines that had him wish his crush and neighbor kid would never meet.  
It had been a short dream of getting closer to the man he had stamped as human god in his mind, the day he had wanted to ask Yanjun out one year ago, on a sweet and romantic date with candlelight dinner on a nightly river cruise, with expensive wine and brilliant roses, he had instead been introduced to Wang Ziyi, a b-boy, a rapper, a handsome and rich kid always swarmed by girls, and respective boyfriend of Lin Yanjun.  
It had been the day his dreams had come crumbling down and his heart a painful and useless thing throbbing inside his chest because he was still in love and it had gone on for a year now.

“No,” was the only word he said and the only thing he wanted to say ever since Ziyi had opened his mouth and started his proposal, the only thing he had wanted to do when first seeing the door open and familiar black hair caught his eyes had been to slam the door shut and lock it, something that wouldn’t even have gone noticed for he was still alone in the practice room but that would feel wrong when later having his club members enter and finding a locked door.  
Without needing to think it over, he could gauge their reactions, could quite well imagine Chaoze’s withheld curiosity and Yanchen’s worried gaze, he could see the confusion on other faces when finding the door locked so he had controlled his own urges and instead listened to his crush’s boyfriend and if only it was to honor his classmate rather than actually wanting to listen to the younger, words passing him by, about wanting to learn modern dance and liking his performance because, honestly, it didn’t matter to him at all or ever, nothing said by that voice could ever matter to him, actually.  
But neither was he blind, had seen the confusion and hurt displayed on Ziyi’s face, reflected in big eyes that probably looked quite charming to Yanjun but to him they were but bothersome, they were always so kind and open as if he was willing to treat everyone like a little lost kitten and it bothered him, that he hated this man when he had no right to hate him because there had never been any improper acts except for dating the one he was in love with and that was it.  
Somehow he could read the younger like an open book and not at all, he could easily depict the emotions filling dark orbs but he couldn’t interpret them, there was only mixed feelings about a situation in which he had acted on proper reason and instinct alike, a situation in which he felt like his immensely huge personal space was invaded and yet there was too much distance between them to even think of it, distance he only increased as he dismissed the other with another last cold glare and right now he was quite glad that he had been caught alone, before club activities were to start because it saved him some hassle.  
It saved him from Chaoze suggesting Ziyi just goes for an evaluation rather than getting rejected right on the spot, it saved him from Yanchen’s intrusive gazes for the behavior that was so unlike him, it saved him from later having to explain himself to Ruibin when they went over their lines for the play their class was to prepare as part of their acting tuition because maybe he was able to keep it all in when he was around his classmate from vocal classes but no way was he able to hide his odd behavior from his closest friends, more so when one of them was even his roommate.  
Because while no one else seemed to have caught on just yet, he knew that they were aware that he wasn’t treating this one person like all the others, the praises he’d receive for being so good-willed and tender with everyone around were useless whenever he was around the rapper, starting from the parties they all attended, usually mingling around each other with Yanjun and, obviously, Ziyi joining them in and how he’d pay attention to everyone but this one person, and up to how he was often taking his leave the moment the younger arrived, effectively ending his own lunch break prematurely and interrupting all conversation just because he couldn’t bear seeing those two together, it was something he did so naturally no one but Ruibin had noticed at first because someone who always saw him act was way more prone to find out when he did so even in situations outside the classrooms.  
Despite that, even if his friends found out about it, about this hopeless crush he had and the very exact reason as to why he disliked Ziyi so much, he figured it would be all right as long as they didn’t tell Yanjun, there was a lot of things he could deal with but not the possibility of their friendship and the only excuse to spend time with the holder of his heart ending just because boyfriends might be more important than classmates, all just because his jealousy did, after all, get the better of him and he exposed himself to those prying eyes.  
He had nearly forgotten that there was still a visitor around as he peeled off his sweater and tugged the front of his shirt into his sweats to be more comfortable, fabric crumbled in his hands still as he heard that bothersome voice again, interrupting his quietude and warm up preparations with a few simple and yet so upsetting words, “Can’t you give me a chance, at least?”  
Aside from stealing what he had desired most before he could even get his hands on the treasure that was a man, he thought that maybe for the first time the younger actually wanted to make him upset, he felt his muscles tense with the realization and needing to bite back poisonous words laying on his tongue about being doubted when his decision was made quite clear, refusing to become snippy and ask whether the other was deaf and therefore his music sounded so lousy to instead only pay him an icy look over the reflection of the mirror, frowning lightly as he let the doubting his words settle on him first.  
It was like trying to move a boulder with bare hands, the myth of Sisyphus come to life as he forced himself to keep his voice nonchalant and unmoved when his eyes were talking about raging storms and freezing cold, upset with the question and the hidden meaning behind it, “There is no need to. I was already told you only do hip hop and break dance and if you had put your eyes to good use outside, you’d have seen that this is a club for modern and classic dancing. Without prior training in ballet you’ll only struggle to keep up, your body isn’t currently able to withhold the strain of dancing as we do. If you want to argue that other members of the club did also not meet such prerequisites, it’ll only lead to me informing you that they had abilities that were up to par and would prevent injuries.”  
Internally, he released a sigh of relief because he had still managed to make it sound reasonable when, really, his thoughts weren’t quite so, not when he could also take on the challenge of teaching a newbie, he knew that Yanchen had done the same with his boyfriend and he knew that Chaoze would love teaching someone new but rather than taking interest in climbing new walls, exploring new lands, he was more upset with the idea of needing to see Ziyi three or more times every week, as if those daily reminders that Yanjun wasn’t his wouldn’t suffice.  
“If you want to join a club, look for one that is more befitting your abilities instead of mocking mine by thinking experience in break dance allows you to enter so easily. I don’t need no rapper to make fun of me so you better return to whatever you usually do and leave me to warming up.”  
Or maybe he didn’t actually own all that much self-control as he had thought, words slipping his tongue before he had even noticed them doing so, now glad how he didn’t see Ziyi all that well with the distance that was between them, it made it easier to just turn around and attach his phone to the sound system and this time he didn’t even care anymore whether he was alone or not, he had made his point quite obvious, more so than just that, and even if he had a slip of character this time around, at least he hoped it would lead to the younger finally leave him alone for good.

It was funny, how even just hearing his name said by one certain person was enough to make his heart flutter to the point he wanted to punch himself for the intensity of his emotions but instead of doing just that, he turned around with a smile to face the older, expression faltering as he saw the stern and maybe even somewhat confused expression on Yanjun’s face, shifting on his heels as he waited to be caught up to so they could continue their walk through the dorm hallways and towards the exit together.  
“You’re heading to a rehearsal now, right? I’ll accompany you,” his classmate started but it didn’t much to reassure him this time around, undoubtedly, there was an ability to mask intentions but nowhere near perfection, not to the point Zhengting wasn’t able to see through it after spending so much time with his crush already.  
For a while he was willing to keep up the pretense that there wasn’t something going on in the background, beneath layers of ease and descending steps, that they were getting along just fine in a situation like this, but like a mouse nibbling on Swiss cheese and eventually running into a hole, he also couldn’t avoid the topic forever, eyes swaying as he looked anywhere but his crush, avoided the faltering of his nimble heart. “If it’s about the song, I already remembered all the lines so…”  
Which, blatantly said, was a poor lie, he was quite aware it wasn’t about the song even when it was a simple enough start into the conversation aside from offering company on the walk to the drama building for his acting class and rehearsal in one, it was a good enough introduction for Yanjun to speak up for the real topic, “It’s about Ziyi.”  
Oh, right… He barely managed to hold back his sigh, born from frustration and this one-sided crush and jealousy because there it was again, the reminder that his never-ending crush was blocked by someone else and now, apparently, even gave reason to a talk like this, it was all swallowed down as he mustered up his concentration to display a perfect little smile accompanied by a silent, “Hm?”  
“You rejected him from the club,” the older more stated than anything else, replied to with a small nod from his side, the kind of encouragement needed for the words to go on, “And I understand that you might be concerned about the performance of your club when taking in someone new who lacks experience but did you need to do it in such a rough manner? I never once heard of you behaving like this so if you have something against him or if he ever did something wrong, do you think it is fair to vent it in such a manner?”  
This time he couldn’t prevent the little upset huff to slip his lips, noticed the intrusive stare of the older burning into the side of his face as he worried his lower lip, a million thoughts raced through his mind and none of them were appropriate to be said out loud, he was already aware that he had acted more on impulse than he should have back then and if the gazes he received after his friends heard about Ziyi coming out of their practice room was anything to go by, they also wondered about the reason for his foul mood on that specific day but at least they had had the courtesy to not further pursue the topic, knowing it would only make him close himself off and retreat from the concerns.  
This kind of cat-and-mouse between hiding his feelings about a certain relationship and his friends catching up to what was going on was surely more easily held up than the Chinese wall that protected his heard, mercilessly attacked by Yanjun and his prying eyes, dark orbs he wished would look at him in admiration and affection rather than concern, all while showing this kind of expression, the one that made him feel like a convict during interrogation with a special agent, intimidated and small in his seat, having to bear with his own guilt and feelings while someone was pressing all the sensitive matters and forcing him into opening up.  
“I must have let out pent up stress on him,” he finally forced through his teeth before his feet came to a halt, they had already reached the building that was his destination and location for the next hours and they would need to end their conversation now, or at least within the next minutes before he would be running late to class. “And if that’s what you want from me, I’ll apologize about it. But it doesn’t change the fact that he is unfit for the class and I need to draw a line somewhere, even if we’re close, it won’t mean I can accept him into the club and if you can’t accept that for my sake, do it for his. He’ll pull his muscles and hurt his tendons without the proper training. I won’t accept him.”  
He also needed to draw a line about his own emotions somewhere, but that much he didn’t say out loud, that he wanted to leave behind his feelings - his one-sided love, his jealousy, his frustration and hurt - when crossing the border of a hallway to his practice room, during the few hours he dedicated to dance every some days he didn’t want to think about anything but dance, Chaoze’s strict choreos, or perfecting his own routines, Ziyi was but a hindrance to accomplish such goals and-  
“Can’t you tutor him then, Zhengzheng?” Yanjun asked softly and right this moment he felt played, he felt utterly and shamelessly toyed with, the warmth of a palm pressed against his cheek spreading throughout his whole body and he knew that his facade had slipped, that his eyes were big and he didn’t even manage to talk about his make-up getting messed up when it was for the sake of feeling such skinship for just a few moments later, even though he would have already slapped away anyone else’s hand. “He really admires your dancing, he doesn’t shut up about it ever and you’d do me a huge favor with that but I’ll also be satisfied if you could just explain yourself to him. Is that okay?”  
It was the hand, he entirely blamed that hand still touching his face and that thumb caressing his skin as if it were the most normal thing to do, as if making his heart break and shatter and align itself all over again only to break apart with the intensity of his own feelings was more than justified for this certain man, it was enough to make him agree to murder if only he was asked but instead he was asked to teach Yanjun’s boyfriend and he still found himself agreeing to it, content for a moment as he saw such a bright smile and was sent off to rehearsal, and then regretting it ten seconds later and considering to jump off the roof because he really was just a stupid fool in love and darned fate just needed to keep rubbing salt into his wounds.

 

Some days later, he really ought to regret ever having agreed to Yanjun’s terms and in his mind he was still cursing this one hand, no matter that he was recalling the sensation of it against his cheek over and over again, caught in a daze as he thought back to it and what a sweet moment it could have been if only it wasn’t for the context of such situation and that it wasn’t a touch meant to him, or maybe it was meant to just soothe him, but even if it was meant as such innocent gesture, it really wasn’t, not when there had been ulterior motives in making the boyfriend happy.  
Despite his regrets, there was also some sadistic satisfaction in seeing how the younger was suffering with all the stretching and bending into unusual positions, he had never practiced it himself but even just from doing flips and tumbling, he knew that b-boying would demand a lot of focus and stiffness of the muscles, solid moves that would keep the artist locked in the positions and was focusing on strength rather than flexibility and now there was a need to go entirely into a different direction, those hours tutoring spent on making his student move this way and that to loosen up the body, like door hinges that needed to be oiled, that were moved while dripping the liquid onto metal to have it seep in and work against rust and screeches and what should be considered easy work was still straining for the younger.  
It was within less than a month that he stood in front of the younger and frowned upon him, as he watched how ever so obediently Ziyi was still following his every demand for stretching while never asking for anything in return and he wasn’t sure whether he should feel content with such easy behavior or whether he should frustrated because it made him feel like wasting time, as if he had a box of delicious lunch and he didn’t want to share and yet he so childishly demanded for someone to still ask for a bite because it looked so great, he wanted to just keep going with the small exercises until it managed to bore the younger to the point he gave up or hear the request for more, to start dancing, and that also never came, never turned into a reason to be upset with the younger.  
If before someone had ever told him that disliking people was easy, he’d readily deny that, it was difficult and straining and he was so desperate to just find something about the younger that was upsetting him, to hear agitated words or some snippy remark but all he got to listen to was that soothing voice and gentle tone that would lull even a raging tiger into sleep, he wanted to see some rebellious expression so he could say he was given an attitude but those puppy eyes never wavered, the most he got to observe was a little frown of concentration because the stretch on the legs upon having to do the splits was a bit too much, and constantly looking out for these things, something, anything, he could use to say his actions and words would be justified when lashing out was quite tiring and exhausting.  
“Let’s stop for today,” he said all of a sudden, merely half an hour into this private class but he was frustrated, had an urge to throw his bottle away or slam his ankle down onto the wooden bar it was resting on to feel the material crack beneath his foot but he was way likelier to hurt himself so he kept from doing that, only went to his back and threw his bottle inside, not caring about the confused gaze he was given from the younger who had still been busy warming up on his demand, and yet he found himself caring as he found himself turning around merely three steps towards the door and throwing his bag into a corner. “What is wrong with you? I call you out here on whims and you always come, I only make you do stretchings and you never complain, I say we’re ending this and you don’t even ask why? Can’t you at least give me a reason to hate you?”  
He was agitated, fuming even, and felt it only blazing brighter when he was met with Ziyi’s worried and considerate stare rather than some mad streak upon having been yelled at, it was really too difficult to dislike someone who was so easy to be liked and he hated that he could slowly understand why Yanjun had fallen for the other, with that soothing voice and worried gaze, with handsome features and dark hair that was so tempting to be played with, even his body line, he’d be such a liar if he denied it wasn’t really sexy and that came from him, standards as high as a rocket soaring into the sky and never satisfied unless he was looking at his crush.  
“I thought you might have work to do still so I didn’t plan to compla-”  
“You never complain!” Zhengting interrupted rather rudely, he knew it himself, that he was being unneccessarily harsh and that he was only blocking his own path because he should so easily be able to get along with the younger, he would open up to those bright eyes and then he would fall and he knew that he would fall and just the thought of it was making him sick because for more than one year he had harbored feelings for Yanjun only, he was so fond of his own classmate that he feared most what would happen to him if his attention was slowly shifting from one half of that relationship he envied so much to the other. “At least give me a reason to hate you…”  
But that reason he was never given, not when strong arms wrapped around his frame and only then he realized he was trembling, whether it was because he wanted to cry or punch something - someone - he wasn’t too sure but he was sure that he was slowly calming down while engulfed by Ziyi’s scent of pines and expensive perfume, feeling the softness of skin over the hardness of muscles and the reassuring heave and fall of a chest against his own that worked like a hypnosis to his own breathing, calming down until all he felt was just fatigue deep down to his bones, worn out and tired and craving for nothing more than a bed.

One thing he was quite aware of was that he should focus, should look at the pages in front of him and try to figure out what their assignment for class was, not to mention that he was already surprised that there was still so much theory for a class about vocalization but it was to assume that this simply was the irony of university, the learning never ended and if it did, professors would rather teach students about throat damage than play the piano again, it seemed.  
It was already tiring enough to read with the biology heavy content, vocabulary he wasn’t sure he’d be able to remember even when he managed to study a two hundred pages script for his theatre course, some of which might be faulted with being more fascinated with the way Yanjun moved the pencil across pages, scribbling away on the important things and it was an interesting thing to do, how the older followed both his subjects at once, reading about lumps in Chinese, writing the keywords in English and later he’d write it down in Chinese again, learning odd vocabulary that way but it seemed to work, the grades were more than sufficient and there was never any problem in memorizing things.  
The entire opposite of Zhengting, at least on that day, he couldn’t concentrate on the assignment at all, was rather thinking about how his crush seemed to fit in so well with the library, rows upon rows of books surrounding them, their corner quiet and secluded because not many were that interested in physics in a university focusing on performing arts, a corner that was filled with sunlight shining in and Yanjun always acted as a gentleman, took the sunnier spot because he would jokingly say he was already tan enough it didn’t matter, even when it was hard to even just absorb the light with glasses blocking the damaging parts of the rays, he was always joking like that, and to the actor it was a test of his heart over and over again.  
Despite the cold having seeped in already, having corrupted the outside weather while the heating fought it off inside, the sunlight was still gentle as it highlighted beautiful features he thought he could watch forever, the sharp jawline, straight nose that still had some cuteness to it, the softly pillowed valley beneath his cheekbones that made the highlight stand out more, fluffy and soft bangs he just wanted to run his hands through…  
He knew he should focus but right that moment he was way more content with still feeling the same about Yanjun, that his feelings had maybe changed a bit in regards to his crush’s boyfriend, but no way had it lessened his feelings for the older, they were strong, steady, even just watching the person he admired silently was drinking warm tea on a cold winter morning, it was cozy and comfortable, spreading inside out, it was like curling into his blankets on the couch on a rainy day and grabbing a book to read, it was all this and more because it came with an ease he wasn’t able to put into words, an ease he wanted to enjoy while it lasted because there was always the calm before the storm and he had a feeling that surely this storm would be coming up sometime soon.

It had been snowing when he had first arrived at the performance building, holding the grand stage used for theatre pieces performed by the acting department, the singing showcases he usually attended to cheer his friends on, and the dance showcases his club was often part of, not to be scouted or anything because that was a right exclusive to the students within the dance department but it gave way to show off months of practice and hard work each group had put into their choreographies and it was also a good way to mix up the students who were actually studying dances and used to strict training with those who did it for the love of dancing, who just wanted to enjoy the freedom of moving along to the music.  
Somehow, he thought, he was like those snowflakes currently falling outside, he was used to getting carried away by the music while those dots of white were lifted up by the gentle winter breezes, tumbling around, twisting and turning, as he did on the stage and in front of fogged up mirrors, it was love and dedication, the wish to press and push his own limits and the desire to break boundaries that had him dancing but that might be the only difference to those frozen droplets, they weren’t doing it of their own accord for they had no will but just moving the way as Mother Nature had instructed them to.  
“It’s your turn in a bit,” Chaoze reminded him next to him, sweat glistening on his tan skin that was much like Yanjun’s, and still out of breath thanks to his own tiring performance, the fast-paced choreography that must be considered masochism for it had been designed by the small male only to put himself under the strain but the faint cheering he could still hear in this backstage room was telling tales of how much they must have appreciated the fast and strenuous dance outside.  
“Thanks,” he said softly, lifting his foot off the bar he had used to stretch his legs while looking outside the windows, while watching how the dirty brown of the dried out lawn was slowly covered in scarce white, his spine cracking as he stretched his arms upwards and bent his back into a arch that even made his muscles sting. “Did you see Yanchen around?”  
“Changing clothes in the other room,” the younger explained while picking up a bottle to open, clearly craving for the drink to soothe a heated body even when the break was supposed to be short-lived, it wouldn’t take long for their group performance to be up, after the duet between Zhengting and Yanchen and only then the actor would be able to change into more casual clothes to cheer his other friends on throughout the rest of the performances that had only just started.  
For one last time he checked his appearance in the mirror, pulled the belt around his sheer gown tight, the white fabric on top of tight black dancer garment giving him some mysterious flair as it shimmered in the light and he already knew it would perfectly contrast with the opposing outfit his partner would wear, but was quickly pulled out of his thoughts when hearing some more words from his friend, “Yanjun is amongst the audience. You better show off grandly.”  
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zhengting replied, shrugging his shoulders as he left the small backstage area owned by their club to leave for the stage but while his expression was perfectly calm, he was aware of his fast heartbeat, that his skin was tingling with the anticipation of feeling dark eyes burning into his skin as he was flying across the stage, feeling the need to impress the older who attended the showcase for the first time, even though a lot of his friends attended it, always with the excuse of such grand masses not being to his liking, he’d rather watch the recordings, and with his growing excitement he was also easily blind to how Chaoze had needed to point this out to him.  
“Ready?” Yanchen asked from a spot next to the stairs leading up to the elevated wooden planks, the ones they’d dance across in a few seconds, and he found himself nodding before propping his feet up again, one after another, checking the tape and bandages around his skin that would give him support where he needed and allow steps to be skipped where he wished, not necessarily looking pretty but perfectly doing their duty.  
“You better make this a good one, next year I might not be your partner anymore,” Zhengting pointed out with a teasing tone to his voice, not because of any greater reason than simply that he was aware his friend would rather ask his bubbly boyfriend to partner up with, at least if they would finally manage to find mutual ground on their performances, but he had to admit, it was quite endearing seeing their junior being all over one of his close friends, quite literally so, if the way Zeren had climbed the taller during the last showcase was anything to go by.  
“Who knows, you might be the one to replace me soon,” the older shot back with amusement painting his words before he already disappeared to the other end of the stage, making his way around behind the farthest behind curtain that hid the construction until, just a short while later, he could see the familiar black hair several feet down, too far to see much of the expression but teeth blinding with a bright smile as apparently the younger boyfriend had come around to wish him well, in between performances of his own.  
It made something in his chest sting for a moment, to some extent he was envious of his friend’s happiness, he wasn’t jealous, Yanchen more than deserved to find happiness by holding the smaller in his arms, but he was envious for he craved the same, even after over a year that desire had never shrunk to just curl up in Yanjun’s arms if only he could, was allowed to, and for a moment there was even the memory of Ziyi’s embrace flashing up in his mind, the strength and tenderness of it and how he wanted to inhale the scents of pines and oranges of two different people right this moment.  
Those thoughts were forcefully pushed aside as a few other students came rushing down the stairs next to him, giving him the cue to walk up on his own as he listened to the MC introduce the next stage, their stage, and while that voice was still cracking through the speakers, Yanchen and he already took their places on the ground, the slightly older laying on his back while he was kneeling with his back to the audience a bit of a distance away, relieved that he wasn’t to face so many faces looking at them or he’d already be looking for a familiar pair of eyes, it would only lead to him losing the concentration he needed for the dance that demanded all of his mind.

It wasn’t until hours later that most of the dancers had found themselves in the house of one of the fraternities, celebrating the successful wrap-up on behalf of the dance department and all clubs, friends mingling around and alcohol flowing generously, it truly was a sight to see how everyone had been drained after the performances only to now be energetic and hyped on the makeshift dance floor of a living room having been cleared of all obstacles by furniture having been pushed to the side and Zhengting was quite sure there once had been a carpet lain out but it must have been removed after one had been trashed during another party when one of the attendants had thrown up all over it.  
The sight of watching the many young people wasting their energies by moving to the music while losing all their skill until it was eventually time for the dance battle that was to break out had been funny while it lasted, finally it was his own exhaustion that had him leaving the more crowded areas to head to the kitchen that was usually rather empty, unless someone came in to clear out the empty bottles from the improvised bar that was a table on the hallway and replace them with new ones, or those who came looking for the special drinks hidden in the fridge or the additional cooler that had been set up, and then, he guessed, he was a special case just looking for some peace and quiet as he pushed himself up to sit on the counter, checking social media and some accounts that had posted about their performance while sipping on his drink.  
Nothing but a short break before Chaoze found him, dragging him out to join dumb drinking games and even dumber dance battles they weren’t even likely to win until he, too, was drained of all energy and wobbly on his legs, pushing himself up from the couch their group had settled around, his two close friends minus Ruibin, Yanchen’s boyfriend who was definitely taking advantage of the older never drinking to accept one more than he should if he wanted to stay sane, some of the younger members of their club they were close to and not to mention the one and only god of them all, Yanjun, looking glorious even in the shitty light of the frat house and awfully sober when everyone else around was still drunk.  
That alone was enough to tempt him into filling up the empty cup on the other’s behalf, his legs wobbly as he finally managed to stay standing without toppling over, goodbye his superior sense of balance and hello to drunk staggering, he carefully made his way around legs and feet and he was quite sure at one point he felt Yanchen steadying his steps until he had managed to get out of the messy couch area and to the more free space, walking over to Yanjun’s seat on the ground to kneel down next to him, asking about getting the older a refill along with his own that was replied to with a nod and the request to maybe look for Ziyi on the way, words that cause his heart to clench and start fluttering all at once, made him feel torn about joking either about snatching that boyfriend of his crush away or protesting about not wanting to look for a guy he doesn’t like but in between being torn doing this or that, he found himself agreeing and walking off with two cups in his hands.  
In such case, he figured, the kitchen was a way better place to prepare some drinks, rather than the stuffed table outside, leisurely taking his time in filling the cups nearly halfway with vodka only to pour whatever juice all over it, or at least he wanted to until a hand came up to grab his elbow and stop his work with gentle words, “I think you had enough of that already. Don’t you want to take a break for a bit?”  
His eyes widened due to the proximity that wasn’t actually that little, it was just that he was overly sensitive in his current state, whipping around to find himself right in front of the very person he now remembered he had been supposed to watch out for yet who had entirely been forgotten, for whatever reason he hadn’t seen Ziyi around before while they had played drinking games, much to Yanchen’s amusement, apparently, who was perfectly sober and watching how they had all, more or less so, gotten shitfaced already, but probably the younger had been away for he had gotten roped into taking part in dance battles the very same way it had happened to him before, except his own skills in that department were rather meager if compared to Chaoze or the b-boy, more so when he considered that most of those dance battles he had had with Meiqi on their own, copying her style more so than he wanted to admit to but it was less embarrassing to fool around like that with her than Chaoze who’d try to actually teach him next and the thought alone was making him feel some odd way he couldn’t exactly describe but maybe that was also because Ziyi’s hand was still on his elbow and burning through his loose pullover and entirely distracting him.  
“...did well today,” the gentle voice slowly managed to breach through the cotton that was some wall surrounding his blockade and with a startled “huh?” and a very confused gaze he looked up to the only slightly taller one, lips parting as he tried not to inhale that sickeningly tempting scent of pines that was so different to Yanjun’s oranges and red pepper and where Yanjun’s was so cozy and warming, Ziyi’s was entirely easing and lulling him in for all of a few seconds.  
“I said you did well today, Zhengting. The way you dance is really… I don’t think I’ll ever get over it,” the younger repeated, sounding awfully flustered to his drunk ears and the actor was quite sure it wasn’t supposed to sound all that shy but it was enough to make something within him crumble down as he stepped closer to the student he tutored.  
“My dance is what? You see me dance often, why are you getting flustered now,” he nudged the younger on, audaciously placing his hands on cheeks that felt cool to his touch and while a tiny voice inside his head whispered that it was only because he was drunk and quite heated of his own, the greater part of his brain was busy putting stupid thoughts into actions as he muttered about skin being cold and needing to get warmed up and the next thing he knew he was pressing his lips against Ziyi’s.  
It only occurred to him that what he was doing was wrong when it was already too late, that what Ziyi was doing was wrong as he felt a pair of lips move against his own and his fingers tangling into black hair, pulling strands out of the elastic so he could grab them better while he pressed his body against the taller only to seconds later feel his back colliding with the counter as he was forced back, it was a kiss that was oh so wrong and all that right and that left him breathless faster than he would like because he was already feeling heated thanks to the amount of drinks he had had.  
“You… Yanjun…” He stammered as he tried to fix his thoughts, anger fighting with that sweet feeling of falling in love because his kiss had been replied to but not only had he cheated on his one-sided love for the older but the younger had actually and for real and indeed cheated on the older and it made him crave to just slap that handsome face and then his own right after because they were both stupid and at least he could say he had been drunk but it was all forgotten when he heard his name being called out.  
“Zhengting, are you- Oh, Ziyi!” The voice he loved so much called out in tipsy joy for finding his boyfriend and the realization that, if only one second earlier, they might have been caught actually had him feeling uneasy to the point bile rose in the back of his throat, maybe too much kissing and too much alcohol and too much stress weren’t really a good combination so he only could feel relieved about the sink being right behind him.

“...kissed but then you-”  
Words were interrupted by his own groan as he felt the brightness of the other side of his eyelids, kicking into his blankets as he turned around in his bed but where he was quite sure that he was supposed to just be able to roll over because he was used to sleeping in a double bed, he found himself in the kind of situation where a second felt like eternity as there was no more support beneath his ass, flailing his limbs and then there was a crushing sound born from his own colliding with the ground and the dull pain that shot up his spine because his fall hadn’t been gentle at all.  
It was enough to make him groan, the crush hurting his ass and lower back while his stomach was feeling weak and there was a light pounding against his temples from the headache and the soft reminder to stop drinking as much, drinking games with Chaoze always were dangerous because magically that squirrel didn’t get drunk or maybe he just worked it off that fast and surely he must have had quite an amount of drinks if even in his usual hangoverless state he was feeling slightly uneasy currently.  
He had only just managed to break free from the blankets he had wrapped himself up in when coming to two quite draining realizations, one being that he had fallen off a couch that surely wasn’t his because this apartment wasn’t his, also wasn’t one of the dorm rooms, but it was still familiar and the other being that he knew why it was familiar, he had stopped by once or twice when preparing for a project with Yanjun and that thought was enough to make him sit up hastily, still entangled with the blankets and feeling sick with the rushed movement but what made him feel even worse was the sight of the couple inhabiting this place looking at him from different places, the older leaning against the door frame leading to the bedroom with an unreadable expression and the younger settled around the dining table carrying some steaming cups, the scent of coffee filling the air, and looking undoubtedly uncomfortable.  
“We should talk,” Yanjun said without any proper greeting and Zhengting had half a mind not to curl up on himself when seeing the older approach him, memories of the past night flooding his mind and with it came the guilt, fingers curling around the blanket, elbows nearly overly tense as his muscles strained with his fighting the urge to run away - maybe he could just hide at his place and use Ruibin to tell those two he is dead and then he would cancel his vocalization class and accept the failing marks while never again taking a class with Yanjun and-  
His thoughts came to an abrupt halt when a hand was gently placed on his cheek, the very same way it had happened some months ago when the autumn weather of a new school term had greeted them still and it caused him to feel the very same way as back then, there was warmth spreading through his body and soothing his aching bones and uneasiness was slowly fading away as he could only stare into dark orbs right in front of him and just as back then, he found himself answering to questions that, this time around, hadn’t been asked in first place, “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have kissed your boyfriend even if I was drunk and not in the right state of mind but… But… Isn’t it his fault too? He replied to the kiss! He really gets me mad, how dare he cheat on you when you’re… when you’re…”  
The roller coaster of soft words and agitated and accusations and choked syllables was breaking off as he bit on his lower lip, tried to find the things he was supposed to say and while he could quite well imagine how Ziyi was falling in on himself on the table, blocked from his view entirely, he wasn’t able to make sense of Yanjun’s unreadable expression that should have him feeling nervous with its sobriety but it only managed to detangle his juggled thoughts, with those perfectly plush lips only parting when it seemed he had calmed down enough. “When I’m…?”  
“When you’re…” He started again, only to stop again, biting his lower lip and rolling it between his teeth as he tried to come up with the things he was supposed to say, should just take this moment to confess and get it over and done with but the fear of what was to follow was heavy on his shoulders, even though he had already fucked it up, he couldn’t bring himself to open up his heart because a kiss could be blamed on alcohol but being in love for a year and a half couldn’t be justified and might be a quite good reason to cancel their friendship and by all the deities above, struggling with a one-sided crush was difficult enough but it was still better than not getting to see the object of his admiration at all. “You’re…”  
There was a low hum coming from the older that sent shivers down his spine, whether it was the kind of fear or of arousal or just comfort he wasn’t sure but he also didn’t dare to act on it, could only obediently follow when a thumb tugged on his lower lip, prodding him to release the bit of abused flesh and he didn’t find it in him to protest or refuse it, not when that very digit was still sliding over his skin as if to soothe the swollen spot. “Maybe I should start since cat got your tongue, Zhengzheng.”  
This time the shiver running down his spine was quite pleasant, even though Yanjun turned around to face the dancer at the table, reminding him to listen carefully, before those burning eyes were directed at him again, flustering him with their intensity. “I’m not mad that you two kissed - or I am, but not the way you’d think I am. Ziyi also only told me about it some minutes ago before you so…” - the older seemed to consider the appropriate word for it while Zhengting was already busy calling himself enough names in his mind - “...elegantly interrupted us. You didn’t really give us a chance to talk about anything yesterday, by the time you were done throwing up, you must have exhausted yourself enough to basically fall asleep and we had enough trouble getting you home. Did you know you’re a really agitated sleeper?”  
Slowly he nodded his head in response, he had already heard about how he tended to move around a lot on nights he had drunk something and that he liked to talk in his sleep, he had driven Ruibin crazy in their first year as they had shared a dorm room before Yanchen and him had found an opportunity to move out and in together in summer and he had to thank the heavens that Yanchen wasn’t disturbed by any noise ever, not even his sleepy rumblings.  
“You also talk a lot in your sleep,” Ziyi added in silently and that much made him pale with realization, whatever he had said during his sleep must have been quite important if it lead to such a conversation now and there was the sudden desire to just hide beneath the blankets and stay there like a cat in the bag and wait until Ruibin or Yanchen or even Chaoze had come over to just drag him out like a sack of potatoes and he’d never again have to face either of these two.  
“We didn’t discuss that between us yet,” the older started again, tilting his head aside lightly as if he was pondering his thoughts, “But at least I was reassured about your throwing up not having been faulted by my good looks” - at this point Zhengting was quite sure that if Ziyi had had a pillow by hand, it would have met his boyfriend’s head - “and rather it might have been triggered by you feeling guilty for kissing my boyfriend. Which isn’t really the problem, or it is a problem but I think I’m more upset that you didn’t kiss me first.”  
“...huh?” Smart reply, really, he complimented himself and about the time such intelligent reaction had been drawn from him, he heard a mug fall down onto the table, followed by some low muttering he suspected was the Ziyi-version of cursing, inaudible and silent, just so no one would understand any of the profanities.  
“I was considering this since he first started talking, actually,” the oldest went on as if behind him a coffee flood hadn’t taken place, as if the confused face from the dancer didn’t exist, “But you already confessed to me - us - in your sleep and he, too, he felt attracted to you since a while, something about finding out about your contradicting feelings and actions or something along those lines, I was distracted by your beating up my couch to properly pay attention but the gist of it is - you love me,” and at that point Yanjun’s trademark teasing smirk had appeared, apparently quite smug with that knowledge now - “and you fell for Ziyi too and Ziyi, for some odd reason, thinks I am not enough for him and it would be a lie to say you aren’t quite attractive so I was thinking that maybe it deserves to be given a shot.”  
“...huh?” Maybe his brain had been flushed down the sink the night before as he had thrown up, he considered now, because he still wasn’t able to even just form a coherent thought, as if his whole brain had been burnt out and now all he could do was stare at Yanjun, still fumbling with his lower lip, and then at the third at the table who still hadn’t said anything ever since he had started cleaning up, but maybe his gaze had been a bit too obvious because his long-time crush turned around and asked, “Ziyi, baby? What’s your thought on that?”  
Simply just the fact that Yanjun was calling the younger that way, that he might be called that way, was making Zhengting feel flustered, avoiding his gaze as he instead looked down onto his own hands playing with the blanket folds, now that he had at least managed to calm down enough to not feel as stiff as a broom anymore, but anticipation was still running through his veins like electricity, all while he tried to wrap his mind about what was going on right now.  
There was still silence for some moments as they waited for the youngest to open up, clearly considering his words before saying, “It’s… unconventional. But I really like Zhengting, more than just a friend, so I wouldn’t force him into it but I think to give it a try might be for the best and if we work it out well, we could be quite happy altogether…”  
“You must be confused,” he heard the tan god of his heart say, softly, more gentle this time around, and it made him feel like a cat rolling around in the sand, receiving such treatment, wanting to wallow in it for a while more, “So how about you take a shower, I’ll borrow you some clothes, and then we talk about it again during breakfast?”

Breakfast wasn’t quite breakfast because, honestly, neither of those two had been able to cook much and it made wonder about how they survived on their own even as he was back to his apartment, pondering over the talk that had taken place and that made him feel flustered all over, apparently in quite an obvious way too because once Yanchen caught sight of him, leaning against the entrance door, wearing clothes that weren’t his, with flushed cheeks, there was an unusually mischievous grin plastered on that handsome face.  
“I thought Ziyi and Yanjun had taken you home,” the slightly older started, arms crossed while Zhengting had to suffer that examining gaze one would receive only from their best friend or their mother and it made him feel uncomfortable, like a preschooler who had done wrong. “Or was their writing me about you throwing up and having drunk too much just an excuse for a threesome?”  
The question made him choke on his own saliva as he frantically shook his head, unstyled hair flailing around as he pushed himself away from the wall and went to follow his housemate into the kitchen, the gentle scent of soup filling the air and it gave him quite the idea of what was happening around his place, should have suspected so when he had seen Zeren’s trademark backpack already, surely the younger had had too much to drink, more so than him even.  
“So, what took place at their place?” His friend asked while starting the coffee machine, black mass of hair brushed back with one hand while the other slid beneath the shirt, it was funny to watch, how Yanchen scratched his side and loosened up his hair by shaking his head lightly, as if it hadn’t been brushed back just a second ago, definitely not aiding the bedhead that had not yet been fought off.  
“I took a shower and we had breakfast,” he mumbled slowly, fumbling with the overlength sleeves, fabric smelling like the detergent these two apparently used in their apartment and that explained the soft underlying scent he usually smelled when closer to either of the two and that was way unlike the one the other dancer with his sensitive skin and sense of smell liked to use. “And then… Then we just… You know-”  
“Fucked over the kitchen table,” the other interrupted only to earn a kick to the ass, and then some more as Zhengting kept poking his socketed toes against the dancer’s behind until he felt his ankle grabbed and only when there was a light tug and the risk of getting pulled off the counter he screeched his surrender. “So no fucking over the kitchen table. But it can’t be that nothing happened when there’s this.”  
And “this”, apparently, referred to a mark he carried on his neck, even when he had hoped it was covered by the fabric of the shirt and where the collar wasn’t sufficient, his hand seemed to be, at least until he was handed a mug of coffee and now that he thought about it, that Yanchen was still in his pajamas was highly suspicious actually but he didn’t voice that out loud, probably Zeren was just a clingy sleeper because for sure he’d be too hungover for anything else if he hadn’t even shouted a greeting from the bedroom yet.  
“We just… It seems I confessed to them while asleep,” he muttered into his mug and if his friend was surprised, at least it wasn’t shown, “And then… I guess they confessed to me too?” Well, now he had taken his club member by surprise if the exaggerated coughing after choking on coffee was anything to go by.  
“So kind of… We’re in a trial phase of a relationship?” Better say it now while his dance partner was still busy dying before it would happen a second time, he figured, and patiently waited until that had subsided and his roommate was back amongst the living and thinking.  
“You know, I figured you had something for either of them, based on how you always avoided Ziyi but then you also tutor Ziyi and you’re often with Yanjun too but… both of them? Really?” When a slight nod followed from the seated one, the dark haired just released a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Well, I guess it’s better than you doing a drunk striptease again or breaking off their relationship… Would’ve prefered the fucking over the kitchen table though.”  
“Too tired for that,” a new voice mumbled, a quite clumsily walking Zeren, huddled in a blanket and looking somewhat pale, crashing into his taller boyfriend and for the first time in months Zhengting wasn’t filled with some yearning envy merely because he knew that from now on he was able to do the same with the two trial-boyfriends of his, even if it meant some work, especially in the beginning and to get it all working, but he felt content, nipping his coffee and watching how his semi-roommate and roommate were being cozy and affectionate.

**Author's Note:**

> Who likes semi-open endings? Right - me
> 
> Follow my rants on [twitter](https://twitter.com/zhengjunist) or send me your prompts on [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dadting)


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